Conflicts in relationships are inevitable, but when they happen we must exercise great care to not involve one of the four apocalyptic horsemen of relationship. The book of Revelation speaks of four horsemen that are released with the opening of the first of seven seals. The horsemen of Revelation usher in a time of conquest, loss of peace, war and destruction, famine, and death. In a similar way, the four horseman of relationship have been proven to be “relationship killers.” We must do everything we can to identify them in ourselves and then root them out.

Defensiveness: Overreacting to a challenge, generally involves the failure to address the issue raised by the other.

Stonewalling: Being obstructive, evasive answers, deflection, or denials.

Criticism: A criticism that involves the global condemnation of another.

Contempt: Feelings that another is worthless or deserving of extreme scorn. Usually involves the demeaning or tearing down of another and thinking they are beneath you.

The presence of these often results in the withholding of grace, malice, sins of the tongue, antagonism, aggression, and attacks on others.